Well time to weigh in on Jesus. Ever since I unplugged my cable subscription, I have noticed that the only channels that come in clear on an antenna are...shopping and Christian. How scary is that? Now, I don't have anything against Jesus, quite admire the man actually. It's just what the evangelicals have done with his name and image that makes me wanna go out and buy some nails in case he should come back anytime soon...but again, it's not him, it's THEM. See. the truth is that Jesus spent his life railing against the established churches of his time, and being nice to prostitutes and such. Jesus was, in fact, a radical, raging, liberal.

But save me from the self-proclaimed Christians. Their intolerance and arrogance and ambitions to take over the nation and turn it into some sort of theocracy...I mean, moral fiber is one thing- I agree with their critique of materialism and even to some extent on promiscuous sexuality (but don't you stop me from getting mine). But homophobia? And trying to convert everybody? And having an exclusive line on God's plan, drawn from a translation of a translation of a collection of some stories about Jesus, and calling it the Word of God. Give it up. Separate your church from our state, motherfucker, or I will separate my state from your church. They really get my goat. I tellya. Makes me wanna say- Jesus loves me...every night! Jesus is coming! Got nails? Jesus is coming...on your face! Jesus loves you- in the ass! Abort evangelicals! Blaaarrgghhh! But Jesus, as I said, was actually a really, really, nice guy, the nicest ever, really, so forgive me. It isn't Jesus, it's THEM, taking his name and smearing their shit all over it, just like those freeper bastards do with my flag. Burns me up like the clap. Wish they'd all drown in a mass baptism. Maybe we can put em in an auditorium, tell em it's the second coming, and napalm the joint. Oh, excuse me, did I just suggest a crime against humanity? It's just that some folks take your freedom of religion and abuse it to try and make everyone else think like they do. Oops, Jesus is coming! Gotta go!