MALIKI IS THE 'RIGHT GUY' FOR IRAQ

Is that anything like Brown doing a heckuva job, or Rumsfeld having his 'full support and deepest appreciation'? In other words, is this the kiss of death? Although it is hard to say with these guys. Botching things often leads to a fat promotion..it is persistent unpopularity that will get you, unless of course you are Bush himself.

DEPORT THE STUPID

So, the Citizenship test is going to be revised to shoot for more substance, less trivia. TO prove their understanding of democracy and the ideas and government processes that make our country so special. Sounds good. How could one argue otherwise?

The only thing that makes me suspicious is the administration that's doing it, and the current climate of bitter Minutemen. And if you listened to the story, you heard the interviewer asking American tourists at the Statue of Liberty some of the questions, with some sad results. In this exchange, which should be listened to for the laughter and intonation alone, Whitney LaCount from Tulsa, Oklahoma couldn't answer any of these on her own:

1. Interviewer: Why does the US have 3 branches of gov't?
Whitney: (friend helps her)- "checks and balances."
2. I: What is self government? W: "Try another one."
3. I: What is the rule of law? W: "Ok..(unclear..Britney? anyone speak Oklahomese?)"

Then the kicker:

I: Do you think these are fair questions to ask citizens?
W: Yes! I think, as hard as it could be, the better.

Does anyone else think that this change is not about democracy so much as raising the ramparts? Regardless, does anyone else doubt immigrants will rise to the challenge and put native-born Citizens to shame?

And thus my idea. We have a lottery which awards a limited number of visas to immigrants around the world- the Diversity Lottery. And I think the new Citizenship questions are great- I think the idea that US citizens should understand their government and its principles is wonderful. The only problem is, those who are lucky enough to be born here never have to pass a test. Let's change all that, and do a deportation lottery! If you are selected, you get 3 tries- like a driver's test- to pass the new Citizenship test. If you fail after 3 tries, we will deport your stupid, undemocratic ass...if we can find a place for the Uighurs from Guantanamo, we can find a place for those undeserving of US citizenship. Don't worry, Albania can be really nice in the summer.

Ay, mami!

How anyone can object to the re-Mexicanization of the USA after a few hours of hotties on Univision is beyond me. Plus the food! Open the border, bring it on, we can share, mi casa su casa. Really, the border is an artificial imposition- what, we kicked your ass back in Texas and that means you have no right to be here? People are people. Mexico is poor and the Mexican people powerless to fix it. IF I had been born there, I wouldn't wait around for the country to improve. I would seek a better future, any way I could.

But back to topic. just the ladies alone have me sold. Excesses of makeup and the old plastic-surgeried hags notwithstanding, this demographic shift could well re-inject some of the feminine and family flavors tossed with the bathwater back in the 70's. No? One hopes the emphasis on family could lower our divorce rates. One hopes the blending of cultures could 'liberate' the hispanic honeys from the oppression of roles- daughter, sister, mother- somewhat; temper the overbearing machismo of the sterotyped man of the house somewhat; one hopes the Mexican Catholic is not so tied to the Pope that they won't at least see the value of condoms for AIDS prevention, or even the primacy of a woman's choice over her reproductive capacites (as opposed to the view that once knocked-up, she's an incubator). And, yes, one hopes the cleavage culture survives all that blending somehow. Please, Lord.